The Supporter Back to Enneagram
Type Two
The Caring, Helpful and Self-Sacrificing Person
AKA: The Patron, The Nurturer, The Martyr
Typically: Twos are caring, helpful, generous and self-sacrificing. They try to meet the needs of others and tend to put their own needs aside. They build rapport with people by encouraging, praising, and showing empathy. Genuinely compassionate, loving, and unselfish, Twos see the good in people and try to bring out the best in others.
When stressed: Because they desire to be wanted and appreciated so desperately, Twos try to make themselves indispensable to others. They may become intrusive and possessive and bombard people with compliments and flattery. The feeling that they are unappreciated can make them act in angry and abusive ways. Their fear of rejection drives them to be manipulative and self-serving, and to demand approval and affection.
Point of View: "It is important to me to help others when they are in need."
Examples: Mother Teresa, Dick Vermeil, Eleanor Roosevelt,
Focus on: Gaining approval by helping others.
Important Issues: Sociability, warmth, helpfulness, identity, denial of needs, flattery.
Approach to Problem Solving: "Anything I can do to help you?."
What They Like in Others: Friendliness, sharing of feelings, display of emotion.
What They Dislike in Others: Coldness, unavailability, lack of needs.
How They Frustrate Others: Flattery, emotionality, intrusiveness.
Chief Asset to Team: Connection. Twos have a unique ability to understand and empathize with the needs of others. They can read emotional currents and provide "just the thing" that others need.
Core Struggle: Twos believe that they must create a support network while not appearing to need one, so they subtly manipulate others. Their helpfulness is often an attempt to receive support in return or to mold the world into the pattern they think it should fit.
Unconscious Contradiction: Two are jealous of those who receive attention but feel guilt over desiring attention. They attempt to get attention and approval by means of self-sacrifice.
Coping Strategy: Repression and projection of their own needs. Rather than take responsibility for their own needs and the effort to meet them on their own, Twos project their needs onto others. If they heal others, they are in a way healing themselves.
Vice: Pride, which manifests itself as a denial of their own needs and imperfections, and a feeling that they deserve special treatment.
The Lie Twos Tell Themselves—"Some people are more important than others and deserve a larger share of my attention."
Counterproductive Trap—Freedom. Twos have a strong drive to become free of anyone dependent upon them or upon whom they feel dependent.
Area of Avoidance—Neediness. Experiencing their own needs and dependency makes Twos feel inadequate and defiant. They would rather focus on the needs of others.
Anti-Self Behavior—Self-Frustrating. Twos seek their sense of value in their connection to other people. They frustrate and inhibit their own growth by focusing on the development of others.
Potential Strengths as Leaders: Attentive; committed to helping others; sensitive to needs of others.
Potential Weaknesses as Leaders: Can be manipulative; smothering; demanding; and possessive.
